It's amazing how something as simple as just sitting in silence together can be so rich. On the one hand there's not much going on; and yet, what is going on, when there's nothing to distract you?

It's so easy to get caught in distraction. But to choose to stop like this, to just be present, to show up—as I've often said, it requires readiness. No more escape hatches. Or you realize that escape hatches don't work any more. You might still try them, actually; but you come to realize that they don't work any more. Or maybe you keep realizing that, keep rediscovering that they don't work anymore. Until finally, you just say, ok. I give up. I'll just be here. With whatever's present. With whatever is physically present, emotionally present, mentally present.

I think the hardest part of that is not making conclusions about what one's experience means right now. Isn't that the hardest thing? To be available without knowing what it means, without getting caught in the conclusion, the story of it? That can be an escape hatch, the meaning of it all. Not to say it's meaningless; that would just be the opposite conclusion when in fact it's beyond either, it's all-encompassing. Awareness is all-encompassing. It excludes nothing. So all you have to do is notice where you're excluding, where you're pushing away, or pulling, struggling.

So in a way it's very simple. But of course it can be intense, or difficult, to not have a buffer; to not protect. To allow the heart to be open to its vulnerability. That's why compassion is so important; compassion means simply to allow vulnerability. Allow not knowing. Allow the vastness of our being to take us into the unknown.

Opening to the openness, as Jean Klein used to say, means the willingness to be available to whatever arises. It's easy to really want the pleasure of awakening; awakening is a great pleasure, and a great relief. It's also experiential evidence, you might say, of the existence of truth, and of freedom. So we continue on the path. Otherwise we'd probably stay down the escape hatch, one way or another.

So we want the pleasure of awakening, but we don't want the pain of suffering. But that's really the key, right there. The key is in the not wanting. That's the ultimate doorway to freedom, being available to the not wanting. Pain isn't the key; the pain just is what it is. The suffering is in our not wanting the pain, our resisting it. Or our wanting it, for that matter, which can include wanting to understand it, too; wanting to figure it out.

The good news is it's completely ok to be human, with all that that involves. It's not about getting the right merit badges so you're worthy; good enough, smart enough, whatever. All that's required is readiness. And readiness got you here, just like readiness somehow gets the bee to the flower, and gets the flower to open. That same mystery brings us to the truth.

Really it's just returning us to the source that we are. That's why, in a sense, we want that—because in some ways we know we're disconnected from that which we are, we know it intuitively, and we usually run around trying to fulfill ourselves in various ways, thinking that's going to make us happy. But ultimately we're seeking wholeness. We seek freedom, which is our true nature. So essentially, our self is bringing us back to our self. Or our no-self is bringing us back to our no-self, if you're Buddhist!

In a sense we can't not go home; it's not possible. Even if we're kicking and screaming the whole way, it's still not possible, just like gravity is part of our reality here on this planet. There really is a physics to this. We are the mystery of nature. We are as grand as the universe itself. As unknowable. We are not separate at all from that.

Of course if you're experiencing separateness, or isolation, or struggle, then let’s talk. Let’s find out what's going on, put a little light on it, so to speak. The value of this dialogue here is to come to the place where silence speaks. So if what's speaking out is noise, then we interact to return to the silence.

It's ok to explore the noise: the mental noise, the emotional noise, the physical noise, doesn't matter. No blame, no judgment at all. I so often hear people describing their judgments of themselves. It's relentless. It's sad that we do that to ourselves; how do we get into that habit? Judgment turns the heart to stone. What does it take to soften the heart, to warm it, so it opens and is available? That's all that's required. Just being present, that's it. Ultimately that's the whole of the teaching. You get that, then you just hang with that until it's done, basically. That's about it.

Of course it does precipitate that which is still struggling, as you know if you've been at this for a while. But that's ok, that's just the way it works. It's tough, it's difficult, because often the mind goes, well I guess I'm not getting it, because I'm still struggling, I'm still frightened, I'm still angry, I'm still confused, still sad and frustrated. I'm still unsatisfied. It's hard to continue, isn't it, when you're unsatisfied?

So the saving grace, if you will, is grace itself. The truth that we are, that we all are. We're already it. We're already free. We may not realize it yet; we may not be one with that yet. And believing it doesn't really help that much. Believing won't do it, in other words. Belief may be useful, of course, if it keeps you on the path. But ultimately, like they say in Zen, talking doesn't boil water.

So do you know what I mean when I say the truth of who you are? Is it clear what that means? Not clear intellectually, but clear in the fullness of being? That's why we have this mirror called satsang. That's really what it is, that's it's only purpose. Fundamentally, that's its true value. Satsang is the realization that we're not separate. There's really no me and no you at this level of awareness.